Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil. It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones. Honour the Lord with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase: So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine. (Proverbs 3:5-10 KJV)
These verses seem so clear and easy to follow. I have preached on these verses and counciled people to follow this advice. Trust the Lord because He holds all things in His hands. He owns all that we see. He knows us like the back of His hand and knows what plans that He has for us. Still we find ourselves struggling to follow the advice of Proverbs chapter 3. Why is that I wonder? I believe it has something to do with what my good friend Daniel Reeves said. He said, "We don't follow God's Word because we don't really believe". Think about it, when push comes to shove we tend not to trust God's Word. We are not sure if what God has promised is true when faced with real life trials and circumstances that require supernatural help.
Having said all of this I must admit that I have fallen into this category already this week. I knew that God had spoken straight to my heart about Lauren and I adopting a child and starting our family. I had no doubt in my mind about it. Here is the thing. I immediately began to worry about finances. It's amazing how quick I forgot what God promised me. He said that He has a plan and will provide a way. I guess to be honest I just did not believe that. I mean what else can I say? If I am racking my brain and worried about how in the world we even start this process with no extra money, then I am not trusting God? I know we live on a tight budget and I know exactly what is in our bank account. The problem is that I was putting limitations on the God of the universe. I was showing Him that I was going to try and figure this out on my own after just asking Him to help us. Lol How crazy is that? That's just what we do. We live in a world and a socioty that no longer believes in the supernatural power of God. We like to talk about it and even teach it, but when it comes to putting it to practice we quickly lean on our own understanding.
I am so thankful that God does not give up on His children, but gives them miracles instead to prove His Words. I have been stressing over finances all day. We are filling out a long list of papers so that we can begin our home study. Well, the study alone is $1,500. Not to mention the background checks at $40 just to get started. I already told Lauren that we would have to wait until we get paid again before we can send in those background check because we just simply do not have the extra money. My wife bing the better half of me said that we should step out and go ahead and send it in. I was against that decision because I was leaning on my own understanding. Here is the miracle. I get home and see a box on the front porch. It is the VBS material I have been waiting on. I then check the mailbox and there are three pieces of mail. A card and two pieces of junk mail as always lol. The card caught my attention because it had no stamp or return address on it. It just had Zack & Lauren on it. I open it up and it is a beautiful card that says BABY on it. I open it up to read it and out falls some money. $500.00! I was floored! I read the card in tears and it was from Jesus.
Here is what it said, "Let me start by saying how proud I am of both of you. I have heard your prayers and felt your sorrow as we battled infertility together. I know your heart and rejoyce at your desire to become parents. It does my heart well to see my children imitate their Father. After all, I have adopted you, and I love you with all my heart. Becoming a Mommy and Daddy won't be easy, but remember I am with you always. I am excited to begin this exciting new chapter of your lives with you. Cherish, nurture, love and care for this precious gift as I have cared for you. I love you with a never-stopping, never giving up, always and forever kind of love! Jesus"
I can not even begin to tell you how I felt. Rivers of joy, love, humility, and excitement overwhelmed me. All I could do is weep and sob into my hands. I have never felt so much love. I felt God's arms around me right then and there. It's something you would just have to experience. I understood at that moment what Proverbs chapter 3 was talking about. Our way of thinking is to limited compared to our Father's. We can not begin to live this life and handle everything that comes our way on our own. We need to be dependent upon God. When He speaks to our heart and tells us what to do and what He is going to do, we must trust it. He is not limited like we are. He will finish what He starts and give us what we need to accomplish it. I will trust God in this process. I have to. Without Him it will be impossible.
Baby Anderson, I can't wait for you to know our Savior. I have so many things to teach you. I can't wait for you to feel His love and care for you. I love you so much and can't wait to see you face to face. It will be a God moment for sure. I am praying for you and your Mother. Dad